2010 has definitely been the most sour for me.
im turning 21 this year, officially still 20.
i've learned alot of things during my years.
one thing for sure, i fall alot.
i get hurt bruised, pain. and especially this year.
i've lost a tube of my organ.
i don't know if it was worth it.
i'm still trying to find my happiness, someone who could make me feel special and happy.
yes, i know i do have a family, but me and them we're just different,
they see me as a baby girl.
but actually im more to that, and everytime I try to be the person that i am towards them,
it just turns, otherwise.
up till now im trying to understand.
=(
i have been always crying, angry, feel like the whole world just shut me up.
u know.
this isn't healthy for me, its like a routine where i get every week.
sometimes everyday.
i just wanna be happy, like i wanna stop crying, suffering, being angry.
i miss smiling all the time.
i look back and start questioning myself, what happen to me?
i was usually the bubbly one, the funny one.
but i became the opposite, i became the odd one.
i need help. i need cure.
im so tired of the pain im too used to.
its like a growth that won't stop growing.
someone bring back my smiles, will you?
thats all i ask for.
i miss being able to do anything without doubts,
like sleeping, having my time, anything.
i miss being so carefree.
but now all i am is just a old wreck dusty torn lonely rag.
i wanna start smiling again.
please. =(