im turning 21 this year, officially still 20.

i've learned alot of things during my years.

one thing for sure, i fall alot.

i get hurt bruised, pain. and especially this year.

i've lost a tube of my organ.

i don't know if it was worth it.

i'm still trying to find my happiness, someone who could make me feel special and happy.

yes, i know i do have a family, but me and them we're just different,

they see me as a baby girl.

but actually im more to that, and everytime I try to be the person that i am towards them,

it just turns, otherwise.

up till now im trying to understand.

=(

i have been always crying, angry, feel like the whole world just shut me up.

u know.

this isn't healthy for me, its like a routine where i get every week.

sometimes everyday.

i just wanna be happy, like i wanna stop crying, suffering, being angry.

i miss smiling all the time.

i look back and start questioning myself, what happen to me?

i was usually the bubbly one, the funny one.

but i became the opposite, i became the odd one.

i need help. i need cure.

im so tired of the pain im too used to.

its like a growth that won't stop growing.

someone bring back my smiles, will you?

thats all i ask for.

i miss being able to do anything without doubts,

like sleeping, having my time, anything.

i miss being so carefree.

but now all i am is just a old wreck dusty torn lonely rag.

i wanna start smiling again.

please. =(

im turning 21 this year, officially still 20.

i've learned alot of things during my years.

one thing for sure, i fall alot.

i get hurt bruised, pain. and especially this year.

i've lost a tube of my organ.

i don't know if it was worth it.

i'm still trying to find my happiness, someone who could make me feel special and happy.

yes, i know i do have a family, but me and them we're just different,

they see me as a baby girl.

but actually im more to that, and everytime I try to be the person that i am towards them,

it just turns, otherwise.

up till now im trying to understand.

=(

i have been always crying, angry, feel like the whole world just shut me up.

u know.

this isn't healthy for me, its like a routine where i get every week.

sometimes everyday.

i just wanna be happy, like i wanna stop crying, suffering, being angry.

i miss smiling all the time.

i look back and start questioning myself, what happen to me?

i was usually the bubbly one, the funny one.

but i became the opposite, i became the odd one.

i need help. i need cure.

im so tired of the pain im too used to.

its like a growth that won't stop growing.

someone bring back my smiles, will you?

thats all i ask for.

i miss being able to do anything without doubts,

like sleeping, having my time, anything.

i miss being so carefree.

but now all i am is just a old wreck dusty torn lonely rag.

i wanna start smiling again.

please. =(